Last-Minute Training

I have nothing to say. It might be the chartreuse pollen coma or the exercise flu due to my attempt to cram a month’s worth of training into a few weeks for a 9-hour mountain bike race. Cramming exercise is like trying to speed read a book for a paper that’s due in the morning. It’s not ideal and we’ll see if it can even be done.

For some reason, I have a lot of nonsense coming out of my mouth these days. I get caught frequently saying worrisome things to the cats like, “you’re such a good hunter. I love how you got that ball” or “come get your treat for doing such a good job scratching on your post.” Yes, they are trained to scratch on a scratching post. Really, cats can be trained.

My “training,” on the other hand, has rendered me useless. Multiple classes daily at the gym equals fatigue, piles of laundry, uncooked meals and bad business. Apparently, it hasn’t affected my ability to be the cat whisperer, though.

So, here’s my master plan for my last week of training.

1. Have kids do laundry — ha, ha, ha, ha, ha

2. Drink raw cacao smoothies before working out (recipe below). Raw cacao gives you a great caffeine boost without the crash.

3. Eat more. When else can you do that?

4. Sleep an extra hour every night–scratch that, it’s not happening.

5. Create some motivational sticky notes for my desk. These made the cut:

Life Begins at the End of Your Comfort Zone~N.D. Walsche

The difference between winners and losers is that winners win~Me

Work what you got~Mary J. Blige

Get off Your Ass~Me

Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going~Jim Ryun

Chocolate-Strawberry Smoothie

– 1 cup frozen strawberries
– 1 whole banana
– 2 cups fresh baby spinach (spinach is great for your muscles)
– 1 ounce raw, organic cacao powder or nibs (Whole Foods sells it)
– 1 cup coconut water

Let’s go!

Want Sexy, Beach Hair?

Here’s a recipe I created for quick, thick and sexy beach hair. Instead of spending up to $30 on the salon Surf Spray, just make your own for under a dollar.

Mix 4 oz. of warm water with 4 tsp of epson salt, 1 tsp honey, 1 tsp coconut oil (I like Trader Joe’s), 1/4 tsp lemon essential oil (use lemon juice if you don’t have essential oil), 1/4 tsp olive oil.

Mix well with a whisk and pour into a spray bottle. Spray a few spritzes on to wet hair, scrunch and let dry.

Houdini Bunny

The Bunny somehow wedged its way into our house again this year despite tightly sealed doors and a few “over aged” children.

Mr. Cottontail and I don’t see eye to eye on many candy-related issues, which presents a problem on basket filling day. I get it, he’s got a lot of wicker to fill and is forced to buy his goodies economically. I’m sure he’s incredibly thankful for that fluffy Easter grass.

Unfortunately, cheaper in candy means extra high fructose corn syrup, chemicals and plenty of red and blue food dye. I’m sure that candy shopping at Whole Foods is just out of the question.

In the past, the Bunny has been quite successful in leaving the right ratio of candy to useless trinkets. This carefully formulated equation ensures that 90% of the candy is consumed by noon, with a little help from mom and dad, and the non-food items provide mindless entertainment for the rest of the day until they break.

This year, though, the Buns and I needed to have a little electronic chat. I realized that Skype might be too revealing, so after a little digging, I was able to track down his email address via gmail.

I decided that this Easter we would splurge on extra sugar and artificial everything just to mix it up a bit–live on the edge. I figured this might make up for the other 364 days of Trader Joe Joes, cat shaped ginger snap cookies and natural vanilla wafers. I also needed to specify that the non-food items have a little more utilitarian quality to them. Times are tight, let’s make the most of these baskets. Bunny was agreeable to these changes and happy to supply extra sugar-encrusted eggs, since there was apparently a surplus this year.

I have to say, Houdini Bunny nailed it. I hope your Easter is just as sweet.